Here With Me
by Madison Azari
Summary: Song Fic. S/S. Subaru goes on a walk to clear his mind and bumps into the one on it. please R&R.


Disclaimers: I own nothing from X/1999, Clamp does. I also don't own the lyrics to "Here with me", Dido does. So don't sue me because all you'll get is an old, grouchy monkey.  
  
A/N: Well I had some extra time on my hands since I got my wisdom teeth out and got inspired to write this. This is a Shounen ai, S/S fic, so if that bothers you then sorry. Subaru is a little ooc in some parts, but that was done on purpose. So enjoy the fic and remember to review!  
  
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// I didn't here you leave  
  
I wonder how am I still here  
  
And I don't want to move a thing  
  
It might change my memory//  
  
  
  
Sumeragi Subaru slowly opened his eyes to an unfamiliarly room. Looking around he sees his crumpled clothes on the floor and cigarette buds in an ashtray near by. The smoke was still coming from it, meaning that it had only been put out recently. The one who had been smoking had only left moments ago, leaving Subaru to wallow in his pity. Silent tears threatened to spill from his eyes so he quickly wiped them away.  
  
Opening the door, Subaru looks back into the unfamiliar place. Deep down inside he knows it, all of it without a doubt. But, he denies it for it shames him. It hurts him to know that it keeps happening. That he keeps letting it happen. Those tears that he tried to wipe away before surface again and this time he lets them flow as he leaves the apartment in his rumbled clothes ashamed.  
  
// Oh I am what I am  
  
I'll do what I want  
  
But I can't hide  
  
I wont go  
  
I wont sleep//  
  
  
  
Sitting down on a bench in a near by park Subaru sighs at his predicament. For days now he wasn't able to sleep and only after being with 'him' was he able to. Dark circles surround his lovely green eyes however; they matched the loneliness inside them.  
  
  
  
// I can't breath  
  
Until you're resting here with me//  
  
  
  
Thinking about how it happened Subaru sighs once more and knows that he if doesn't leave soon the others will find him here. The other dragons that worry so much about him. The ones that constantly meddle in his affairs. It's not that he hates them; it's just that they seem to bring up the wrong things at the wrong times. That's just the reason why he had left in the first place and going with the bad timing of his life had bumped right into 'him'.  
  
Sakurazuka Seishirou had only smiled at this when his Subaru-kun had shown up and Subaru knew this.  
  
Closing his eyes the memory of the night before came flying back into Subaru's mind.  
  
  
  
// I won't leave  
  
I can't hide//  
  
  
  
Deciding to go for a walk and clear his mind Subaru left the others and walked aimlessly around. Not watching where he was going and being to pre occupied in his thoughts he didn't see the person in front of him. The person who he so ungracefully walked into. The person who was on his mind, Seishirou.  
  
Having Seishirou smiling down at him made Subaru very uneasy, so he just wanted to quickly apologize and leave.  
  
"Sorry, Seishirou-san"  
  
After apologizing Subaru tired to walk away but his arm was caught as he turned.  
  
"Going somewhere Subaru-kun? I was hoping to spend some time with you," Seishirou tells Subaru.  
  
Without realizing it, Subaru's face starts to turn red. He was blushing like a schoolgirl and this made Seishirou chuckle as he dragged the other away.  
  
  
  
//I cannot be  
  
Until you're resting here with me //  
  
  
  
Subaru looked down the whole way there, too ashamed of being so submissive to the other. However, he knew that somewhere inside of him his body ached for what was to be.  
  
Seeing Subaru in a dream like state, Seishirou picked him up and carried Subaru the rest of the way, smirking the whole time.  
  
  
  
// I don't want to call my friends  
  
They might wake me from this dream//  
  
  
  
Slowly coming back to life Subaru saw the silhouette of Seishirou hovering above him. Blinking, Subaru shyly looked up into Seishirou's one eye and for a moment a feeling of regret and guilt over came him. With in seconds it was gone and their bodies were entangled in a lust filled passion.  
  
Minutes after they had finished Seishirou quietly put his cigarettes out in a near by ashtray and silently left the apartment with a sleeping Subaru in it.  
  
  
  
  
  
// And I can't leave this bed  
  
Risk forgetting all that's been//  
  
  
  
After waking up disappointed and heart broken once again, Subaru left the apartment. What had started out as just a walk to get away turned into something more and had done the exact opposite. It had filled his mind even more If possible.  
  
  
  
// Oh I am what I am  
  
I'll do what I want  
  
But I can't hide//  
  
  
  
Slowly rubbing his temples, Subaru got out of his thoughts and faintly heard his name being called. Looking up he saw Kamui running towards him and waving. Taking a deep breath he slowly waved back.  
  
  
  
// I won't go  
  
I won't sleep  
  
I can't breathe  
  
Until you're resting here with me//  
  
  
  
Standing up and getting met by Kamui seemed to the average eye a normal thing. Nonetheless, while being bombarded with questions, Subaru's mind wasn't focusing on them. It was focusing on a place far away with a person who he dare not speak of in front of Kamui.  
  
  
  
// I won't leave  
  
I can't hide//  
  
  
  
  
  
"Subaru, are you alright?" Kamui asks.  
  
Hearing this, Subaru snaps out of his thoughts and replies, "Yes, Kamui I'm fine.. We should get going though."  
  
Kamui nods in agreement and starts talking again about all the things he missed when he was away. Subaru slightly hears a comment about how this park has an odd vibe to it.  
  
  
  
// I cannot be//  
  
  
  
Leaving the park, Subaru gives it one more glance, but this time it is a thankful one. He thanks it for giving him the opportunity to rest, even though it came at a price. He thanks it for helping him with his thoughts, even though more came to mind.  
  
With one last glance, Subaru thinks of wrinkled bed sheets and smoke.  
  
A smile comes to his lips, as he sees some Sakura floating in the air. Then turning his attention back to Kamui he ignores the figure that the Sakura start to make.  
  
As the pair arrives home, Subaru returns to his bed and this time sleep over comes him. In the last seconds of his consciousness a smirk appears on Subaru's face.  
  
  
  
  
  
// Until you're resting here with me//  
  
*Owari*  
  
  
  
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End file.
